A dear friend of mine, an amazingly talented painter, posted these words the other day.
“Unless it comes out of your soul like a rocket.
Unless sitting still would drive you to madness, or suicide, or murder, don’t do it.
Unless the sun inside you is burning your gut, don’t do it.
When it is truly time and if you are chosen,
Then it will do it by itself and it will keep doing it until you die or it dies within you.
There is no other way,
and there never has been.” Charles Bukowski
I’ve thought about sitting still. I’ve thought often about throwing away the idea of writing completely. It’s not something I do in my spare time, I’ve quit a full time job with benefits in order to work part time, giving me the energy and opportunity to write. But there are days when I realize that the ‘writing clock’ is almost as slow as the geological clock of the earth and I am certain I don’t have the patience to see it through. Yet when I really think about it, when I really weigh the consequences of walking away, I always come back to the same thought: I would explode with all the unwritten ideas, I would forever wonder how many lives I could have affected – even in the smallest of ways. “Sitting still” would indeed drive me to “madness, or suicide, or murder.”
I am thankful for the inability to sit still however. Such energy lets me know that I am in the right place, doing the right thing. If I were comfortable enough to sit still, if I possessed the wherewithal to take it out of me and set it aside, then maybe its not for me after all. Maybe I don’t have the passion it takes to make it work. If that’s the case then I am better off finding a thing that does invoke my passion, writing is difficult enough without it.
I know I can’t ever sit still though, and I know there are many of you out there who can’t either and whose gut burns with a bright sun. May we encourage each other to wait until it is ‘truly time’.
Here’s to a great week kids, and the inability to ‘sit still’.